Chapter 2 - Walking Away
Chapter 2 | Business
Nearly everyday in the ‘real’ corporate world something doesn’t go as planned. In business you will always have something that goes wrong. Let me share with you how to deal with these situations.
Here are MY three simple rules of running a successful business.
1. Identify the Problem
2. Fix the Problem
3. Don’t do the Problem Again
There you have it! The equivalent of a Harvard Ph.D. in Business all boiled down into three simple rules.
Chapter 2 | As a Manager
Cat herding made simple…At least weekly a manager hears from one of their stewards (names have been made up here, so don’t take this personal) about something Suzy did wrong. More often than not they want to know what you, as a manager, plan to do to deal with Suzy rather than actually help the situation by offering a solution to the problem. A couple of days later Suzy will come in complaining about something Dave (her accuser a couple days prior) has done wrong and she wants to know what you, as a manager, plan to do to deal with Dave. This never-ending cycle continues day after day. And on every such encounter I would explain to Dave | Suzy the tree rules of running a successful business. Also explain to them, usually individually, that if any of them were actually incompetent in their positions that they would have already been ‘let go’, because successful businesses aren’t if they continue to employ people who don’t actually know what they’re doing.
Chapter 2 | The Event that Changed Everything
If you are a born and breed German, from say Munich, I hope you know yourselves better than I do. This example of actual events is only a small part of what I know about one German and not the entire country of Germans. Though in my defense I will say that I have told this story to Germans who roll on the ground laughing because of the truthfulness of what I am about to tell you. However, if you offend easily look away NOW.
Chapter 2 | Jens – the very German, German
I never really understood Germans very well, until I stepped off the plane and into the Munich International Airport. Everything and I mean everything was spotless, perfect, in it’s proper place where nothing was dirty or amiss. It was at that point the light bulb came on. Germans want things to be perfect! And they work very hard to accomplish it.
You’ll remember the story just above about herding cats yes? Well that is what management does. Management works very hard at keeping all the cats going in the same direction at the same time. It is a virtually impossible task and people with these talents hardly ever get the proper applause they deserve.
Maybe you think we’re all grown ups, responsible, that we’ve left the sandbox mentality in our adolescence? As a previous manager (oops I’ve given the entire story away now) I’ll share a little secret with you…we’re still all a bunch of little children trying to get along in the sandbox like our parents want us to, but all we seem to really care about is that no one gets to use OUR ball. And we will protect that BALL to our dying breath. Seems a bit ridiculous, I know, but there you have it. We have gotten a lot better, through years and years of practice of hiding this, however it is still there lurking under the surface. Soon you’ll understand why I wanted to spend the rest of my days out in the solace of wilderness…
My last position in the corporate world was as Director of Database and Research for an international direct mail Business to Business company. I was responsible for $135M in sales and had some 34 direct reports in 13 different countries. It turns out that I’m pretty darn good at herding cats – and they paid me extremely well to do it.
It was first thing on a Monday morning when Jens came into my office screaming and yelling about something ‘Suzy’ had done. Let me just say that he had NO sense of social space because he was so close and so furious that little spitballs were spewing from his mouth and pelting me in the face. You guessed it, he wanted to know what I planned to do to her. To this day I never found out what BALL Suzy had taken away from Jens’ to evoke such behavior. Remember the three rules? What is the problem (not what BALL), fix the problem, then don’t do the problem again. Jens was having nothing to do with the rules. And I lost it.
There was a brief moment when he paused to take a breath, I mean how much saliva should one have to endure hmm? It was my chance to interject and I took it!
“Jens, hold that thought a moment.” I said and walked out of my office headed to the VP of Marketing to whom I reported. Taking a moment to wipe away the disgust on my face I marched into her office and told her directly – “I’m going to be leaving.” She asked the usual questions, was I sick etc. etc. I reiterated, “I’m going to be leaving, like ‘leaving’.” Her face turned from her desk to stare directly into my eyes. She was stunned. Let’s face it, this was coming out of the blue and wasn’t anything either of us had any idea was going to happen. After all she was the reason why I came to work at this company because I knew that I could learn how to run a Fortune 500 company someday from her. She was the consummate cat herder and it was imperative to my future that I gain these skills and she was the one I knew I could learn from.
She asked me what had happened and was I sure. I told her about the Jens | Suzy issue, the spitballs and that I was in fact sure. At that moment she did something completely unexpected…she offered me more money! My salary and bonus structure was already more that I could have ever hoped for, but this came as a complete shock. She shared with me that I was one of the best managers she’d ever come across and that she didn’t want to lose me. Now had I known earlier that all I needed to do to get a raise was to threaten to leave, well one never knows what would have happened. But when I set my mind to something I don’t usually move from it, as it takes a great deal of persuasion and debate to get me to change me from my position. She knew the serious tone coming from me and that there was no changing my mind. Her next question was typical, it was a simple “When?”
Perhaps it was the still slimy junk on my cheek that had me on edge still, so I answered “In about five minutes.” But I also added “Don’t worry I’ll work to help find a suitable replacement.” as good geek based cat herders are not so easy to come by. But about five minutes later I was packing up my office and headed home.
Chapter 2 | Oh Boy What Had I Just Done
It was about 10am that Monday morning as I found myself driving home. Sure I had a plan, sort of. Seven years or so previous I had watched a Ph.D. Statistician pack her bags in much the same way and declare she was going to go ‘make candles’ for the rest of her life. At the time, for someone so fresh out of University, that seemed a bit extreme verging on ridiculousness. Now years from then I found myself thinking the same way, but I wouldn’t ‘make candles’.
So there is a bit of information I should share with you here so you don’t think me a fool at the time, because there was some method to my madness here you should know about.
Just across the New Jersey and New York border there was a small town called Sugar Loaf. It was, and probably still is, an artist community mostly filled with shops and galleries. One Saturday afternoon, away from all the spitballs, LeeAnna and I found ourselves walking along in Sugar Loaf when we spied, you guessed it, the photography gallery of a fellow by the name of Nick Zungoli. Nick was a wonderful fellow filled with stories and fun facts about his artwork. He was living the life I wanted to live…he was such a happy man. At that time I was just a man doing what I was good at. They are not the same things.
During our many visits Nick suggested that I show him my portfolio, so one day I did. He fell in love with my work immediately. So much so that he invited me to bring, during the holiday season, ten or so finished pieces to hang in his gallery. He of course would take a commission and I could have the rest should anything sell. Nick made it very clear that nothing might sell. But he was confident that wasn’t likely to happen. So I took the chance and brought him a number of works to try and sell; because you never know unless you try.
The holiday season came and went. I was too nervous to go up and see if anything was selling, as I was pretty sure nothing was (it’s an artist thing I guess.) The day had finally arrived and LeeAnna and I took the Chevy Suburban up to Sugar Loaf, confident we’d be bringing a lot of artwork home with us. Do you remember me telling you about the team building BBQ functions we’d have and the ‘I bet you could sell those’ comments I’d heard some fifty billion times?
Nick welcomed me and asked if I could hold on for a moment, as he disappeared behind the curtain, which housed his modest office. He returned shortly with an envelope, surely to have a check in it. It did. Without even checking the envelope I asked him where the remaining pieces of art were so we could begin loading them up. I will never forget the humbling moment that followed. Nick informed me that he’d been doing this bringing in other artists works over the holiday’s thing for well over 25 years. In those twenty five years he never had happen what had happened with my works. Every single piece I brought to his gallery had sold. Every single one had sold. I peeked into the envelope, the number on that check was huge.
Nick said “If you ever want a career in this line of work I have no doubt you’d do great, it’s yours for the taking if you choose.” He gave me a hug and we left, crossed the border back into New Jersey, in silence the entire way home. Neither LeeAnna nor I knew what to say.
Here I am, having just quit my job driving home with all my office stuff in a cardboard box. What was I going to tell my wife? We had a very small amount in savings and three children. The funny thing is, about savings, that when you are making a gigantic amount of money you tend to live at that level and you end up spending most of your monthly check. When in fact what you should do is save every penny you can, because you never really know when the spitball effect might come into play.
I opened the door to our home and as quietly as I could, walked in. LeeAnna says immediately, “You’re home early.” with a smile on her face, “Did you forget something?” she innocently asked. She has no idea what my morning was like. Embarrassingly the response was a simple “Yes, I forgot something.” “I forgot my life.” There was an awkward pause, until she said, “Oh? What’d you do?”
Another awkward pause, it was my turn, “I quit my job.” Her response to this blew my mind because I was fully prepared for some verbal thrashing…”Well. What are you going to do now?” That was her question to me and the question I spent the last hour trying to figure out, was finally in front of me. I knew what I wanted to do, but honestly I was afraid to say it out loud because of how ridiculous it would sound. It was after all a complete 180 degree turn, but it wasn’t too far away from ‘making candles’ either. It just came blurting out “I thought I’d work on my photography for awhile.”
My knees buckled slightly as she stepped toward me. She leaned in, I suspected to get closer so the blow would really hit home…but instead she gave me a HUGE hug and whispered into my ear “It’s about time.” Real men do cry.
This is the moment I came to realize just how much I loved my wife. I’d known that I had picked a good one when she was crazy enough to say yes to my proposal of marriage so many years before high in the Uinta mountains of Utah at the Sundance Ski Resort. As it turns out she knew me better than I knew myself. She had realized many years before where my true talent lied and she was willing to take the leap of faith that somehow everything would work itself out in the end.
It turns out that when all those people at the BBQ meetings had been telling me, they’d been telling her ‘Seriously, he’s amazing.’ all that time as well.
One lingering question remained, Now What?